Saturday, July 31, 2010

Living with Lyme...my new journey!

I'm not sure if anyone even reads our blog anymore, but I am finally wanting to write again. The last few years have had some incredible highs and some incredible lows! The biggest high is our precious Eliana....she brings Chris and me joy non-stop. She is so full of life and is so loving. She brings so much hope to our lives. Now to the hard part....I am pretty sure I haven't blogged in a long time because I have felt so terrible. The last few years (even dating back before I moved to Guatemala with Eliana) have been SO DIFFICULT for me in a lot of ways. Yes, I have gone through a lot of really hard family issues....but my body has been so sick. I have gained a massive amount of weight with no explanation. My fatigue has been so paralyzing. Chris has been the most incredible husband through all of this.....I will be laying in bed crying and he will clean, cook dinner, play with Eliana and try to make my night fun. He has read scripture over me....and prayed for answers for years. In the last year or two, things have gotten worse. I have really, really struggled with severe joint pain/arthritis and hurt flutters. I have gotten EKG's done....I have had blood work done. The doctors would look at me and say, "you're just depressed" or "you're a new mom of a 3 year old".....and I would walk away feeling crazy. The last few months have been unbearable and have taken me into dark places. Finally, I went to a new doctor and just broke down sobbing. I begged her to test me for EVERYTHING! And, praise the Lord, I got an answer. I have been living with Lyme disease for YEARS!!! It came back positive. My first thought was relief...."I'm not crazy!!" Now, I am facing a major battle and need so much prayer. Through a lot of research and talking to other Lymies, I have quickly realized how controversial this disease is. For those that catch the Lyme disease early, their chance of getting better on antibiotics is great. But, for the rest of us that have gone undiagnosed....it is an uphill battle....and insurance companies are not wanting to pay. I'm not worried about the money, I know God will provide. I just DESPERATELY want to LIVE life again!!! Please be praying.....I go to see a specialist on August 18th!!

Love y'all,
Lindsey

23 comments:

Kerry said...

Lindsay! I will be praying for you. I have someone I can put you in contact with. I am out of town and don't have her blog address but she too suffered from lyme dz and was on the same uphill battle as you. Sad for her, she had it while pregnant and gave birth to a healthy little boy who suddenly went downhill. He is spent 7 months in the hospital and they finally took him off life support. No one knew what was wrong and couldn't answer the questions as to why his poop was killing mice at the CDC. Fast forward about 2 years after his death she figures out she has lymes and that is ultimately what killed her son. She went through some interesting treatment options and I believe she did some of the unconventional ones. She may have great insight for you. I don't know her personally at all but she has a pretty strong blog following...wonderful christian and could probably give you insight! She is pregnant again and due pretty soon. When I get home from California, I will send you her blog site so you can contact her! Stay strong and lots of love!

kateaton said...

I've never posted on your blog before, but I wanted to say that I too have lyme. I've been treating it for only 3 months right now. But yeah, it's devastating. I will pray for you, but just wanted to say that you're not alone- I know those dark places. I so want to have more children by birth and through adoption, but feel like nothing can happen until I am healed. Just tonight I was struggling with despair and crying out to the Lord- His words back to me were "I am greater than Lyme disease." That is the truth we must always remember.
A great blog to check out is lymebytes. The woman is a Christian and she recently started a national conference call-in prayer time every other week. It is so powerful to be on the phone and pray with others all over the country who are struggling with this.
I would love to check out the blog the person above posted about. If you don't mind posting it on your blog when you get the actual info. I'd very much appreciate it!
Feel free to contact me also.

Mary Ann said...

I am praying for you girl! I am happy that you have found the reason to why you have been so sick so that you can recieve treatment! Praying the Lord will lay his healing hand on you so that you will be back to health in no time!

Whimpurr said...

I am fighting the same battle. I began having symptoms about 5 weeks after finding a strange bite. Hoping this will make my journey a little shorter than some but none of us know with this illness! Praying for you and all of us! (((hugs)))

kristin said...

lindsay - i just wanted to comment and let you know that i'm still reading! ...thinking of you and praying for you. i'm so glad you are finally getting some answers and i hope you are able to find peace and healing soon!

Katie said...

Did you just call yourself a Lymie? Love you, friend! Praying for you on this!s

Deb said...

Lindsay-

I am sorry that you are dealing with this, but thankful that you have a diagnosis.

My prayers are with you,

Love and hugs,
Deb

Erin said...

Oh, Linds! I'm so glad you have some answers. Answers are the first step in the long journey of healing. Know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Leah Maya Benjamin said...

I am so glad that you got an answer, how terrible to put in a spot where you know there is something wrong but you arent' given an answer so you just get labeled as depressed. Sorry you have Lyme's disease I don't know anything about it but so much better to at least know what was wrong and start getting better. Feeling bad and having no one believe there is something wrong would make anyone depressed.

Bekah said...

Lindsay--We are so sorry to hear this. I am thankful you finally have an answer but so sorry that the road ahead is still uncertain and long. We will be praying the Lord would sustain you and give you peace. Love, the Mosers

Kacy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kacy said...

Lindsay, we are thinking about you!

Jami said...

Oh Lindsay, I will be praying for you and Chris and you walk this journey. Thank you for sharing this with us. Love you!

Candy said...

Still reading and think of you often and wonder how you are feeling since we have many of the same issues...girl you can bet I am going to make my Dr test me for this. I have never even thought to ask to be tested for this. Go kick some Lyme butt girlfriend...praying your body gets healing from this! Hugs Candy

Kim W said...

Definitely still reading! Have to check in on that little cutie of your from time to time.
Saying a prayer for your healing.
Kim

Unknown said...

Hi-

I check your blog all the time hoping for updates. I've had your family in my thoughts for years now. I enjoy your writing and your story--though I'm sad to have come back to your blog to find so many difficult things happening to you. I don't know much (if anything) about the disease, but I am at least happy that Chris is taking good care of you and you have a loving family around you. I think I speak for everyone in saying that there are a lot of us in cyber space who care about you and your family.

Laurie said...

Lindsay I am still reading and SO thankful you have a diagnosis! I bet you felt like those people on Mystery Diagnosis! I'll keep you and your precious family in my prayers and if there is ANYTHING I can do for you just say the word! :)

The Heinrichs said...

Awh Linds...I know you weren't a crazy depressed mom of a 3 yr old! I am so thankful you found a doctor to test you and now I will pray that they can get you the treatment you need to be you again!!! Love ya~Deanna

Isylla-Beth said...

I still read! Praying for you!

Armstrong's said...

Hey Lindsey!
Will be praying for you! The pic of Eliana and your mama is precious :)
Emily

Kerry said...

Lindsay,

Here is her blog as promised...I am sure she would give you insight into her treatment if you wrote her. They recently just lost a friend who donated a liver to his brother so she may take a little while to get back to you but definitely write her!

http://noahsteven.blogspot.com/

Amanda said...

My dear, sweet, Lindsay. I'm so sorry to hear about these health issues, but also praising God that you have a diagnosis after years of uncertainty. I am praying that The Lord will work through your doctors...or just heal it by His own means (!) and get you feeling better! I know you are one busy mama with a TON going on in your life...but it would make my year to catch up one of these days. Love and hugs to you and the fam, especially that adorable little girl of yours! Love, Amanda (Helm) Medina

Rydley said...

Hi! I'm not sure how I even came across your blog, but wanted to write because I just finally tested positive for lyme too. I was bitten three years ago and ended up with neurological lyme (brain and spinal lesions). What a journey it has been! I'm just beginning treatment now and have high hopes, although the meds are no fun! I hope the best for you on this journey as well!