Friday, October 5, 2007

Our Hearts are Broken....(we love you baby girl)


How do I even begin to express the sorrow Chris and I are feeling right now. We woke up thinking this was any normal Friday....but it has turned out to be the most painful day we have experienced to date. We received an e-mail from Steve in Guatemala telling us that precious Xio's court date was yesterday.....we had no idea! And, needless to say, it did not go well at all. Our precious girl is actually not even from Guatemala.....she is from El Salvador. Her mother came to Guatemala from El Salvador to sell her illegally. She was offered a sum of money....and ended up getting less than she wanted. At court yesterday, the birth mother, foster mother, Xiomara, lawyer and Shyrel were there. There was obviously a lot of lying going on.....and the end result is not good at all. The judge did not trust any of the ladies, but for some reason is giving Xio back. We are trying to reach Steve. But, it seems as if she is headed back to El Salvador with a woman that does not even want her. Steve stated in the e-mail that she would be going back to a bad situation. Money is a shady thing.....and more than likely, she will be selling her again soon. We have more questions.....and will not give up.

I have wept and wept. Chris fluctuates between anger and deep sadness. Our hearts have been broken into a thousand pieces. We are grieving....we are hurting....we are desperately crying out to Jesus. All I could keep saying all morning through my tears is "JESUS PLEASE". I repeated it a thousand times. I know He alone is the Redeemer! I know that he loves Xio so much. I am begging Him to hold her.....to rescue her....to bring justice.....to allow a miracle to happen. I know this doesn't make sense to some.....but to us, she is our little girl. It is an incomprehensible pain.

Chris and I will fight for her! It is not a coincidence that our blog says "The Lord, Mighty in Battle"!! The Lord is fighting for her and for the fatherless! We have no idea what our next step is going to be. But, we both feel the Lord urging us to move forward. Chris said we might pack up and fly to El Salvador......or go be with her one last time in Guatemala. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for both of us.

Our wise doctor and elder told us today, "Adoption is very hard! It's the center of God's heart, but it will rip yours out!" We are broken. We are desperately trusting our Father in heaven to take care of our sweet baby. Please join us in praying....get everyone you know to pray.

We love you all,
Lindsey (and Chris)

39 comments:

Russ, Katie and Eliot said...

I'm not sure what to say. Very little will comfort, I'm sure. Crying with you. Hating this for you guys. Praying.

Sydney said...

I will be on my knees for your sweet family...and am forwarding a link to this blog to for others here in Arkansas to pray for you, Chris and precious Xio!

Marianna said...

i will definitely keep praying and so will all of my 242 girls!

Anonymous said...

Oh Chris & Lindsey, we are so, so sorry. Our hearts are breaking for you tonight. We will be praying for your comfort, wisdom, strength, and clarity in the days to come and for Xio's protection and care. Love, The Kroekers

Amelia Moore said...

We will fight! There are still SO MANY QUESTIONS... Lord, please help all of the details come to light and give us the people and resources to get answers to these questions and bring Xio to the Wheelers. Help Chris and Lindsey the know what to ask and ask of the right people. Give them wisdom, patience and passion to continue this fight.

Anonymous said...

I've been checking your blog and praying. Our hearts ache for you two and baby Xio. We love you.

Lainie

Jordan and Mandy Eoff said...

praying for you..for justice, wisdom and God's mercies to cover you and Xio.

Amanda Tomlin said...

Know I am praying for you and Chris and Xiomara... I sent out a prayer email asking everyone I know to join me. Is there anything else I can do??

My heart breaks for you!!

Sarah said...

Hi Chris and Lindsey,
You don't know me, but I worked with Amanda in Guatemala and she forwarded me your email. I just wanted you to know that my husband and I will definitely be praying for you all. Your blog title reminded me of Isaiah 49:25 which says, "But this is what the Lord says, 'Yes, captives will be taken from warriors, and plunder retrieved from the fierce; but I will contend with those who contend with you, and I will save your children."
Sarah and Larry Rose

mimi johnston said...

Hi Lindsey and Chris, The pink boppy in the photo was a gift from me to my friend Lisa Venable, who was going to adopt a baby girl in the U.S. The baby died in the birth mother's womb just days before she was supposed to have been born. Lisa told me that it (the boppy) had gone on to Guatamala and emailed me today to happily share a photo of Xio in it. What a painful thing to read of your anguish! I have been on my knees and will continue to keep you in my prayers. Somehow God will be exalted in all of this and I pray that you and Xio will be united as parents and daughter. And by the way, the Venables are now fostering two toddler siblings, so God can and does bring beauty from the ashes. I believe He will in your case, as well. Much love and many prayers, Mimi

suzanne mayernick said...

When climbing the mts all you have is His hand, close your eyes and let Him lead you blindly. You will not believe the view when you make it to the top. A mt to us, is a grain of sand to Him. He is our hope, our peace, and in total control. He loves xio more than you can comprehend. The mayernicks are helping you carry the burden (at least half, there are alot of us!) We love you guys! Keep your eyes on HIM.
on our knees, mike and suzanne

Sarah Bussey Photography said...

My heart is aching for you guys. I am crying right now. I can't believe this is happening. Taylor and I will be praying for you guys. Stay strong! We love you

John Wheeler said...

Our hearts broke when we learned what had happened. We have been calling out to God for what only He can do to turn this around. We know He loves Xio and both of you infinitely more than we can even begin to imagine. We also know He is at work on her behalf ... and yours. What looks so bleak at the moment can be completely changed just as quickly. We are asking for His wisdom for whatever steps need to be taken. We're asking for a miracle and we're looking to our Deliverer! We love you, Dad and Mom (Wheeler)

Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking with you. Just know we are praying for you guys. I am crying with you Lindsey. I will forward your blog to my other prayer warriors.
Love,
Nicole Eaton

Kay Daniels said...

My heart is broken with and for you! When I see the pictures of you and Chris with precious Xio in your arms, I know that God is the One who orchestrated this whole process;He is Sovereign and in total control of your lives, Xio's life, and even the government and court system in Guatemala; He is Omnipresent, holding you and Xio in the palm of His hand (at the very same time!); and He is Omnipotent -- nothing is impossible with Him!! It is to this God who is "able to do far more abundantly than we can ask or think" that we lift you and precious Xio and this situation!! Know I am praying for you and, at the same time, aching with you. I love you both so much......Mom

GWEN OATSVALL said...

i am speechless and will get on my knees for you !!! i will post this on my blog and ask everyone to pray ... sweet sister i can't imagine your fears or sadness, but the Father does.

Matt Mooney said...

We are praying for you guys. We hurt with you today and hope in tomorrow.

Matt & Ginny Mooney

amy stanfield said...

We're here for you guys, whatever you need. Praying constantly for you. Love, Amy and Matt

amy stanfield said...

I was reading this a moment ago, and it seemed to apply so well to your situation. I pray it will wash over you today. Love, Amy

Be Thou my Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Words: Dallan Forgail (8th Century)

melneyann said...

Words sometimes aren't enough. I'm praying this morning for both of you, for Xio, and for all parties involved.

God is so much bigger than this. His love is so much deeper than this. And His sovereignty reaches far beyond this.

I pray for a miracle and I'm trusting God for the outcome. Xio is more precious to Him than we can comprehend.

Love you,
Mel

The Shingletons said...

Praying for you. Although we don't know each other, we are all children of the King. He is mighty and He holds Xio in His hands even now.

dreamingBIGdreams said...

I too don't even know what to say.

I'm praying for you guys as you journey through this trial.

Jana Gibson said...

Although you don't know me, I want you to know I am on my knees for Xio! I am praying for strength and comfort during this time for all of you.

Jana

Anonymous said...

hey you guys...heart is so heavy just reading your stories...she is adorable and has such a beautiful face...we have all been heavy hearted concerning the adoption news here in Dallas and praying for intervention...we have kids waiting in orphanages as well that may not be able to be adopted due to recent events...it truly just makes your stomach turn...know that I will be praying for you and Xio as well...God is mighty in battle as you continue to affirm. WE believe and trust that He is able to move in this situation. Love to you guys~ Erica Penick

nikki said...

I found you thru my sweet friend Gwen...just read your story (and cried thru the whole thing)...unimaginable. I am praying for your family - God CAN win this battle for you!
Big hugs sent your way.
Nikki

Matt and Becca said...

I found this through Jamie at Dreaming Big Dreams. I don't know what you are feeling, but we did experience a failed placement during our domestic adoption process. The pain is unbearable and the questions go unanswered. I pray for peace and comfort for you guys and God's protection on that sweet girl. Praying...

Sarah Scheafnocker said...

I'm crying with you tonight. Hold close the promise that the Lord will not bring us to anything we cannot handle-He is faithful! I look forward to seeing what the Lord will do in this seemingly horrible situation...all things work for the good of those called according to His purpose. My pastor's message a few weeks ago was unofficially titled, "when you get to the end of your rope...tie a knot and hold on!" Be strong, we will continue holding your arms high all the way from Knoxville.

gwen oatsvall said...

Just wanted to check back in and let you know that there will be many praying for you and Xio !!!!

LaLa said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers..I cannot imagine the pain you are in...hang in there!

Laura Nipper said...

I found your blog through Gwen's.
My heart is so sadden from reading your blog. I will be praying for your sweet daughter. May the Lord give you strength, wisdom and courage to keep fighting for your baby girl.

jennifer said...

I am so sorry. I will be lifting you up in prayer.

Troy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Troy said...

Hey guys. We found your blog through Lauren Pugh. We live in the Nashville area and will be praying for you guys. We would also love to get together with you and pray sometime. Let us know what we can do to help you. Remain faithful because He is faithful.

Leah said...

Hi. I found you guys through Gwen. My heart is so heavy with sorrow for y'all. I am praying for answers and more info to become available to you. I had my youth group at church lift you up in prayer this morning. And let me tell you, those kids can pray! About 40 teens and leaders took your case before the Father this morning and we will continue to do so. Hang on to Jesus!

Sydney said...

we prayed for you in our small group tonight...and will keep praying! I love you!!!!

Anonymous said...

And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God. Truely, I say to you,whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and thrown into the sea and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it wil be done for him. Therefor I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:22-24

Keep praying and keep believeing- Love you guys,
Paige

Rebel Johnson said...

Amanda sent me the link to your blog asking us to pray. Amanda has been very dear to our hearts since the first time she came to our church telling us about the children of Guatemala. You will be in our prayers. You will not shed tears alone, and the heavy burden in your hearts is shared by all. We will pray for Xio's safety and protection and for your wisdom and patience. Our Lord will prevail!
God Bless
The Johnson's

jajbs said...

I just foudn your blog through MANY of my blogging buddies. You are in the heat of spiritual war fare and it is evident you are equipping yourselves for it. The quote your doctor gave you, broke me. It is SO ture, yet God will remain faithful. His Word says it.

Please know that you and your husband and that precious daughter of yours will be added to my families prayers EACH night. I will continue to follow your journey to bringing home your daughter!


amanda

Kimber said...

I will pray for you all.

Kim