Thursday, January 3, 2008

Why do I worry?

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:25-31

2007 was a year that was full of twists and surprises! Honestly, it was a year of huge change for me emotionally and spiritually. I have been walking through very dark days over the past 3 and a half years. Even though I have begged God for answers....and walked through a pretty deep depression....I can truly say that I would not change any of it! God allowed 2007 to be a year so full of healing. I have come alive in ways that I never knew possible!

In June, I could not wait for Chris to get to experience the Guatemala that I have loved for years and years. We were so excited to walk this journey together!!! Not only did he love it, he's clearly been given a passion equal to or greater than mine. Did we expect to walk away from Guatemala changed forever? I had no idea what God was up to. He began opening our hearts to becoming parents. We are both close to 30 years old but have always felt like we would wait a few more years until we had kiddos. Well, the Lord said, "NOW"! Again, there is always going to be a little fear in the unknown. But, I had no idea what was in store for us. Honestly, we still don't. I have said this before, but I will say it again....we just want to be obedient. We pray constantly for Xiomara and Eliana. They are the Lord's little girlies. As much as I want to hang on to them with a closed fist....that will not help anyone. So, Lord, I am again proclaiming that they are yours!! I don't want to worry. He is the ONLY One that knows the answers....he knows the time line.

So, here we are in 2008. I am excited....and a little scared! I think this year is going to be big!

Love you all,

P.S. Thank you, thank you for praying for Bulldog! He is such an example to us of a childlike faith in an adult's body! Also, CONGRATS to the Moore's on baby Elliot!!! We love you guys with all of our hearts.....I can't wait to hold him when you get back from Guatemala (we might pitch a tent at your house)! We miss you.


Tracey said...

Stay strong if possible. God works in mysterious ways! I know now why we didn't become parents sooner, he had a different plan for us and oh what a plan it was!
I hope 2008 brings so much joy into your lives, you deserve it!!

Becca said...

I agree - 2008 is going to be a very good year for you guys! Hang in there - it is always darkest before the dawn (or something cheesy like that).

Momma to Ella

Jami said...

I look forward to following your journey in 2008! Exciting things are to come!! :)

God bless!!

Ryan & Amanda said...

I just started reading your blog and I am trying to catch up on your story. Are Xiomara and Eliana two children you are in the process of adopting? Do you have any one/both of them yet? If you could direct me to a post or email me that would be great.


The Allums Family said...

Praying for you both. You are so right- our children are God's children. He loves them so much more than we ever could and He knows best.
I pray 2008 is amazing!

Christina said...

Beautifully written. Yes God works in mysterious ways. Hope 2008 is your dream come true.

Brent said...

What an inspiring verse! I really needed that today!

Amanda said...

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! God is doing a MIGHTY WORK in you, through you and for you...I could see it all over both of you last week!!!
Just remember that when we don't feel or see God that is usually when HE is working hardest on our behalf!

gracie :) said...

I've been checking up on your story for several weeks now after someone told me about your blog. Thank you for sharing through the uncertainties you are facing. My husband and I are also facing an uncertain new year with the little people God has placed in our lives. As hard as it is, it is nice to know there are others on this journey with us! I was just praying about it all this morning and realized anew that we are COMPLETELY at the mercy of God in all of this. He knows our dreams, and even our desires to value what He finds valuable...and yet His plans are always so much higher than our own. It can be so hard to see that through the pain, but He keeps taking me to deeper levels of TRUST in Him. Keep hanging in there, sister...I'm so glad He is hanging on to us!

cindy lou-who said...

you remain one of the wisest women i have ever known. your eyes are truly filled with light. you have endured some incredibly painful trials...but not without purpose. i love your perspective, b/c it's His perspective. encouraged by you today, dear friend. press on.

Ted and Lori said...

This post is really something. I hadn't thought of this truth in the midst of all we're going through: that "our" children actually belong to God and we have to have open hands in regards to them. What a hard lesson to learn when they are so far away and we're just dying to get our hands *on* them. Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I'll be following your story. You have amazing fortitude and faith. What an inspiration you are.