Saturday, July 31, 2010

Living with new journey!

I'm not sure if anyone even reads our blog anymore, but I am finally wanting to write again. The last few years have had some incredible highs and some incredible lows! The biggest high is our precious Eliana....she brings Chris and me joy non-stop. She is so full of life and is so loving. She brings so much hope to our lives. Now to the hard part....I am pretty sure I haven't blogged in a long time because I have felt so terrible. The last few years (even dating back before I moved to Guatemala with Eliana) have been SO DIFFICULT for me in a lot of ways. Yes, I have gone through a lot of really hard family issues....but my body has been so sick. I have gained a massive amount of weight with no explanation. My fatigue has been so paralyzing. Chris has been the most incredible husband through all of this.....I will be laying in bed crying and he will clean, cook dinner, play with Eliana and try to make my night fun. He has read scripture over me....and prayed for answers for years. In the last year or two, things have gotten worse. I have really, really struggled with severe joint pain/arthritis and hurt flutters. I have gotten EKG's done....I have had blood work done. The doctors would look at me and say, "you're just depressed" or "you're a new mom of a 3 year old".....and I would walk away feeling crazy. The last few months have been unbearable and have taken me into dark places. Finally, I went to a new doctor and just broke down sobbing. I begged her to test me for EVERYTHING! And, praise the Lord, I got an answer. I have been living with Lyme disease for YEARS!!! It came back positive. My first thought was relief...."I'm not crazy!!" Now, I am facing a major battle and need so much prayer. Through a lot of research and talking to other Lymies, I have quickly realized how controversial this disease is. For those that catch the Lyme disease early, their chance of getting better on antibiotics is great. But, for the rest of us that have gone is an uphill battle....and insurance companies are not wanting to pay. I'm not worried about the money, I know God will provide. I just DESPERATELY want to LIVE life again!!! Please be praying.....I go to see a specialist on August 18th!!

Love y'all,