Friday, October 12, 2007

His Mercies Are Truly New Daily

I can confidently say I've never been here before. I've never had a week of emotion quite like this last one. I would never dare say that I have a "corner on Faith" or that I "get" Faith, but I am learning that it is a daily deal, more than I ever dreamed it was. Faith is clearly not a one time decision that then governs all decisions's much more of a moment by moment -eeking forward- kind of thing. NONE of this is on our strength- that much is clear as well. It is incredible that God loves us in the first place...then more incredible that He is deeply involved and interested in the intimate details of our hearts...then even more remarkable that He daily gives us just the amount of Mercy we need for that day. As I'm writing this, I'm suddenly reminded of something Jesus said in Matthew 6...

26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

The "What Ifs" can literally drive you mad. Anxious thoughts are also quite contagious and seem to spread quickly. The LORD knows what we need for each day and I've personally seen Him provide for every day this last week. The perfect word of encouragement from some of the most random people, or the funniest moment occurring right when all seems hopeless. The Lord is good like that.

I still feel fragile emotionally. I feel tender it wouldn't take much to hurt me right now. At the same time I feel quite strong- like I've just slayed several dragons and I'm ready for more! It's a all a paradox of feelings really. Very sad yet happy, scared yet hopeful, battle worn yet battle ready. Not to seem overly spiritual but it again reminds me of of our favorites:

Proverbs 14.13 "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief."
These things just go hand in hand.

Thanks for all the prayers- we feel them and the King of Kings hears them! (So keep it up!)
Thanks for standing with and behind us.
Love you guys,


melneyann said...

Your transparency has been inspiring. Thank you both for being so open and honest about the hurt that you have felt this week. And even more, thank you for sharing the joys. I can't wait until the day when we can all look back and say, "WOW! That's what God was doing all along!"

Love you guys!


Gwen Oatsvall said...

we are standing and praying in the Gap for you ... Our pastor was talking about the Strong Tower. It is a place of refuge yet also a place to prepare for battle!!! you are in the Strong Tower right now !!! it is a safe place for you to be transparent and ask for prayers as you gain strength to fight the evil that keeps children fatherless/motherless ...

Your story encourages all of us on our journeys ...

Lindsey, would love to have a cup of coffee sometime ... just email me ..

Maria said...

Heard of your blog from the Nashville waiting families (China) group and visited and was stunned to read your story. I cannot begin to be where you are. I have prayed for you multiple times today and will continue to in the days to come. I can see God's arms wrapped around each of you right now as I read the words you write. He knows the outcome and is already there waiting for you with arms open. The pain must be enormous, which means the blessing of His love is also enormous.

Yours in the Body,
Yours in Him,
Praying for you,
Joelton, TN

Anonymous said...

Chris and Lindsey,
What depth of love you have experienced! I just read your story and I am praying for your family. May the Lord grant rest for your weary souls and strength for the battles ahead. He has prepared you for such a time as this.
Wendy (FOFI '01)

JEff said...

Thanks for visiting our blog. Our journey to Reed was a long one, all things considered that God took us through to get to him. We will be praying for you. We will add you to our blog links so more may know and pray for you. Blessings!

JEff said...

Abbey didn't mention it, but we live in the Nashville area. We'll have to get together for dinner and prayer!
I added a link to your blog under "other interests."


Michelle said...

You are amazing. Just wanted to let you know we have been thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.

mommy24treasures said...

keeping you in my prayers s well.

Katie said...

Praying for you guys, thank you for sharing your heart, even in the raw moments.

Laura Nipper said...

The Lord has continued to place you guys on my heart for the past couple of days. Just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you guys.

Anonymous said...

My heart aches as I read your posts. I can't imagine how painful these days have been. I will pray for you both and especially for Xiomara.

Whitney said...

The Lord keeps placing you all on my heart! Our Ellie had to go through abandonment before she was referred to us. I often prayed for the children on the website as we waited for a referral, not knowing I was looking at our very daughter. I wonder what would happen if BM showed up and wanted her back, or what would my reaction be to the situation, would I honor Him? Your faith is strong and the Lord IS mighty in battle! Can't wait to see how He works this out for His glory! Hang in there!!

Anonymous said...

We are standing with you, praying for God's protection over Xiomara...and God's peace for you guys as you seek His will.
We love you!